Is Destruction my Destiny?
Well, friends -
↬ It's been over a year since I wrote my last blog post here. A year. It's been a bit crazy, okay. I've been busy... you know how it is moms. I was busy chasing, bathing, feeding, teaching, guiding & loving on my 5 year old, my 3 year old and my 1 year old. And then I was busy chasing, bathing, feeding, teaching, guiding & loving on them, all while growing even more round in the middle (NO, that's not a food baby) and preparing to add a 4th child to our family. My brain felt like it was going to explode just at the thought. I was barely getting by taking care of 3. How was I ever going to do all this while toting an infant? No clue. Cue the throwing up of hands. {Sigh}
↬ But I AM doing it. Not that there's really any choice there; it's not like I'm going to leave them on someone's door step. But you know what I mean. We're all aware of the difficulties of motherhood. I don't think I need to spell it out; there's enough blogging about that, perhaps too much. Not about motherhood in general, but about how hard it is and how us moms need "self care" so we don't loose our minds, and go ahead and have that glass of wine mom - you don't just deserve it, you need it to get through your day, and 'why did I have these kids anyway?', and why didn't anyone tell me this is what motherhood is really like? Sound familiar?
↬ All that talk about how difficult it is leaves me feeling so depressed. And anxious. Now there's a buzz word - you only have to be on social media for about .1 seconds before you read or hear someone talking about their debilitating anxiety. Don't get me wrong. Anxiety is real - and depression is real, both of which i have experienced first hand. And I know lots of other moms who have as well. I've had real, legitimate anxiety attacks, so I am not trying to downplay it. But what I think is unhealthy is the level to which people are focusing on anxiety. I've even been hearing that word used in recent Christian music lyrics. Can we just say "Enough!" already? Of course when we focus only on the negatives of motherhood (or life in general) we are going to feel depressed or anxious. And don't you know that is JUST what Satan wants! I firmly believe that a family unit in which the father, mother & the kids placed into their care are showing how to forgive & love & reconcile on a daily basis is THE primary way that the world sees something different about what it means to be a Christ-follower. And with the majority of care givers being the stay-at-home mom, what better target does the Evil One have? None. Moms, Satan wants us to feel alone, isolated, beaten down, and anxious. If we feel overwhelmed at every turn, how can we effectively do the job of mothering that God has called us to? Mothering isn't just about diapers and bottles and backpacks. It's so much bigger than that, my friends! At the core, our role as mom is the same as our role in every other relationship - to be a light shinning brightly in the darkness of this sin filled world and pointing to the God of this Universe.
↬ So, back to those 4 kids I was telling you about.
When my oldest, Evan, was a baby (he's 6 now) I had severe postpartum depression. There were a lot of factors at play - poor latch led to a significant decrease in birth weight at which point I was scared into putting him on formula. That, of course, made the little bit of breast milk that I was making dry up. So, two months in to motherhood I feel like a complete failure. I couldn't even do for my child the one thing that my body should be able to do for him. My husband, Dan, didn't understand how deeply this hurt me. And he could not have. He's not a mother. It's not in his nature to desire that or to understand that mother-child connection. It's not his fault, it just is. Dan is a military pilot, so he was gone a lot during that time when Evan was little. In fact, Dan was gone for the whole first trimester of my pregnancy. But again, not his fault. Sometimes things are just hard. So, new moms out there - I get it. It's tough. And no, we can't (and shouldn't) ignore the hard or difficult things in life, that's definitely not healthy either. However, the level to which we focus on the negative will affect your thoughts, it will affect your emotions, it will affect your actions, and it will affect your speech. Guaranteed. The saying, "fake it, 'til you make it" actually has some merit in this case because when we push aside negative thoughts and refocus on the positive, we are training our minds to shift back onto the things the represent God himself - goodness, light, truth.
↬ Evan is now 6 and has three little sisters. And I have had difficult times with each baby. It is easy to get wrapped up in what's going wrong, what we wish we could change, the things we would like to do over and do better; and dwelling on these things is exactly what the Evil One, Satan, wants us to do. He prefers us to stay anxious, overwhelmed, and depressed - caught up in the "what if's" and "if only's" - because when our minds are trapped in the darkness, we are unable to be the wife, sister, friend, and mother that Christ is calling us to be.
↬ Up until about 6 months ago, just after my 4th baby was born, I would go through periods of weeks or months where I just could not get past the dark thoughts that permeated my mind. There were times that I would be one spill of milk away from blowing my lid, and my responses to my husband and kids would too often way over exceed the level of anger that was called for in the situation. I felt out of control. My husband would look at me like I was a stranger, and my kids surveyed me with fear. This was not the person I wanted to be. But even if you know you have a problem & can admit it - there is always the question of moving forward and changing the way I'm responding. How do I let go of this anger boiling up inside of me and give way to the grace & peace of God? How do I respond to my husband with respect instead of resentment? How do I look at my children with a love and desire to serve them instead of looking for every opportunity to get away from them? The answer to all of these questions is the same - in Christ. He himself is Goodness, Light, Love, Peace. In Him are found compassion, gentleness, contentment. Have you ever known someone who was so filled with anger and resentment that everything they touched seemed to be contaminated? They spoil all their relationships because of their selfish inward focus, and yet they cannot see how they themselves are the problem. They are like a tornado sweeping through the plains of Oklahoma - unable to stop the destruction they are causing and often not even realizing that they are the source. I have seen this several times; the affects of their negativity are devastating.
↬ What I realized recently is something that I know the Lord has been attempting to show me for years, and I have only just been able to see it - without Him in every area and in every relationship, I will cause devastation every time. There is a passage of Scripture that says those who live outside of Christ's love and who do not seek to be in relationship with God, will have destruction as their destiny. The Apostle Paul says in his letter to the Philippians that they should strive to follow his example in being like Christ, because if they do not keep their focus on living in the light of Christ, they will be tempted to live "as enemies of the cross of Christ, whose destiny is destruction"(Philippians 3:18b-19a). There is another scripture that comes to mind as well, that tells us that if we continue to live in darkness God will eventually give us over to the dark. However, just a few verses later, in chapter 4 of Philippians, Paul tells the believers that they should "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6-7).
↬ Most of us don't wake up thinking "I really want to be full of darkness today" or "I want to show my kids how evil I can be". We desire good things for our kids. And moms, that desire is a gift from our Maker. We are made in His image and since He wants good things for us, so too, do we desire good things for our own children.
↬ My prayer for you, as you read this, is that the Lord will open your hearts & minds to the truth that it is only in relationship with Christ Jesus that we can be truly freed from the darkness. What I've learned in 8 years of marriage and 6 years of mothering is that I cannot be the wife & mother I want to be apart from Christ working in me. Without Him, I am nothing but a sinful woman causing destruction wherever I go. It is in the freedom of Christ that I am able to live in a way that I am proud to have my children follow. In relationship with Christ I can show them confidence of mind, I can speak truth & love, and I can live a life that is worthy of following after. And isn't that what motherhood is?.... living each day with little eyes, ears, hands and feet copying each move we make and following after us? Yes, indeed. May we live as women who would be worth following. May we seek the God of light, love and peace so that our actions and our words would be filled with light, love and peace. Because if we do not, the results will be devastating, not only to us but to the little ones putting on mommy's shoes and trying to be just like her.
↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬
↬ It's been over a year since I wrote my last blog post here. A year. It's been a bit crazy, okay. I've been busy... you know how it is moms. I was busy chasing, bathing, feeding, teaching, guiding & loving on my 5 year old, my 3 year old and my 1 year old. And then I was busy chasing, bathing, feeding, teaching, guiding & loving on them, all while growing even more round in the middle (NO, that's not a food baby) and preparing to add a 4th child to our family. My brain felt like it was going to explode just at the thought. I was barely getting by taking care of 3. How was I ever going to do all this while toting an infant? No clue. Cue the throwing up of hands. {Sigh}
↬ But I AM doing it. Not that there's really any choice there; it's not like I'm going to leave them on someone's door step. But you know what I mean. We're all aware of the difficulties of motherhood. I don't think I need to spell it out; there's enough blogging about that, perhaps too much. Not about motherhood in general, but about how hard it is and how us moms need "self care" so we don't loose our minds, and go ahead and have that glass of wine mom - you don't just deserve it, you need it to get through your day, and 'why did I have these kids anyway?', and why didn't anyone tell me this is what motherhood is really like? Sound familiar?
↬ All that talk about how difficult it is leaves me feeling so depressed. And anxious. Now there's a buzz word - you only have to be on social media for about .1 seconds before you read or hear someone talking about their debilitating anxiety. Don't get me wrong. Anxiety is real - and depression is real, both of which i have experienced first hand. And I know lots of other moms who have as well. I've had real, legitimate anxiety attacks, so I am not trying to downplay it. But what I think is unhealthy is the level to which people are focusing on anxiety. I've even been hearing that word used in recent Christian music lyrics. Can we just say "Enough!" already? Of course when we focus only on the negatives of motherhood (or life in general) we are going to feel depressed or anxious. And don't you know that is JUST what Satan wants! I firmly believe that a family unit in which the father, mother & the kids placed into their care are showing how to forgive & love & reconcile on a daily basis is THE primary way that the world sees something different about what it means to be a Christ-follower. And with the majority of care givers being the stay-at-home mom, what better target does the Evil One have? None. Moms, Satan wants us to feel alone, isolated, beaten down, and anxious. If we feel overwhelmed at every turn, how can we effectively do the job of mothering that God has called us to? Mothering isn't just about diapers and bottles and backpacks. It's so much bigger than that, my friends! At the core, our role as mom is the same as our role in every other relationship - to be a light shinning brightly in the darkness of this sin filled world and pointing to the God of this Universe.
↬ So, back to those 4 kids I was telling you about.
When my oldest, Evan, was a baby (he's 6 now) I had severe postpartum depression. There were a lot of factors at play - poor latch led to a significant decrease in birth weight at which point I was scared into putting him on formula. That, of course, made the little bit of breast milk that I was making dry up. So, two months in to motherhood I feel like a complete failure. I couldn't even do for my child the one thing that my body should be able to do for him. My husband, Dan, didn't understand how deeply this hurt me. And he could not have. He's not a mother. It's not in his nature to desire that or to understand that mother-child connection. It's not his fault, it just is. Dan is a military pilot, so he was gone a lot during that time when Evan was little. In fact, Dan was gone for the whole first trimester of my pregnancy. But again, not his fault. Sometimes things are just hard. So, new moms out there - I get it. It's tough. And no, we can't (and shouldn't) ignore the hard or difficult things in life, that's definitely not healthy either. However, the level to which we focus on the negative will affect your thoughts, it will affect your emotions, it will affect your actions, and it will affect your speech. Guaranteed. The saying, "fake it, 'til you make it" actually has some merit in this case because when we push aside negative thoughts and refocus on the positive, we are training our minds to shift back onto the things the represent God himself - goodness, light, truth.
↬ Evan is now 6 and has three little sisters. And I have had difficult times with each baby. It is easy to get wrapped up in what's going wrong, what we wish we could change, the things we would like to do over and do better; and dwelling on these things is exactly what the Evil One, Satan, wants us to do. He prefers us to stay anxious, overwhelmed, and depressed - caught up in the "what if's" and "if only's" - because when our minds are trapped in the darkness, we are unable to be the wife, sister, friend, and mother that Christ is calling us to be.
↬ Up until about 6 months ago, just after my 4th baby was born, I would go through periods of weeks or months where I just could not get past the dark thoughts that permeated my mind. There were times that I would be one spill of milk away from blowing my lid, and my responses to my husband and kids would too often way over exceed the level of anger that was called for in the situation. I felt out of control. My husband would look at me like I was a stranger, and my kids surveyed me with fear. This was not the person I wanted to be. But even if you know you have a problem & can admit it - there is always the question of moving forward and changing the way I'm responding. How do I let go of this anger boiling up inside of me and give way to the grace & peace of God? How do I respond to my husband with respect instead of resentment? How do I look at my children with a love and desire to serve them instead of looking for every opportunity to get away from them? The answer to all of these questions is the same - in Christ. He himself is Goodness, Light, Love, Peace. In Him are found compassion, gentleness, contentment. Have you ever known someone who was so filled with anger and resentment that everything they touched seemed to be contaminated? They spoil all their relationships because of their selfish inward focus, and yet they cannot see how they themselves are the problem. They are like a tornado sweeping through the plains of Oklahoma - unable to stop the destruction they are causing and often not even realizing that they are the source. I have seen this several times; the affects of their negativity are devastating.
↬ What I realized recently is something that I know the Lord has been attempting to show me for years, and I have only just been able to see it - without Him in every area and in every relationship, I will cause devastation every time. There is a passage of Scripture that says those who live outside of Christ's love and who do not seek to be in relationship with God, will have destruction as their destiny. The Apostle Paul says in his letter to the Philippians that they should strive to follow his example in being like Christ, because if they do not keep their focus on living in the light of Christ, they will be tempted to live "as enemies of the cross of Christ, whose destiny is destruction"(Philippians 3:18b-19a). There is another scripture that comes to mind as well, that tells us that if we continue to live in darkness God will eventually give us over to the dark. However, just a few verses later, in chapter 4 of Philippians, Paul tells the believers that they should "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6-7).
↬ Most of us don't wake up thinking "I really want to be full of darkness today" or "I want to show my kids how evil I can be". We desire good things for our kids. And moms, that desire is a gift from our Maker. We are made in His image and since He wants good things for us, so too, do we desire good things for our own children.
↬ My prayer for you, as you read this, is that the Lord will open your hearts & minds to the truth that it is only in relationship with Christ Jesus that we can be truly freed from the darkness. What I've learned in 8 years of marriage and 6 years of mothering is that I cannot be the wife & mother I want to be apart from Christ working in me. Without Him, I am nothing but a sinful woman causing destruction wherever I go. It is in the freedom of Christ that I am able to live in a way that I am proud to have my children follow. In relationship with Christ I can show them confidence of mind, I can speak truth & love, and I can live a life that is worthy of following after. And isn't that what motherhood is?.... living each day with little eyes, ears, hands and feet copying each move we make and following after us? Yes, indeed. May we live as women who would be worth following. May we seek the God of light, love and peace so that our actions and our words would be filled with light, love and peace. Because if we do not, the results will be devastating, not only to us but to the little ones putting on mommy's shoes and trying to be just like her.
↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬
Comments
Post a Comment